Why Your Cat Should Not Be Your Real Estate Agent
A Furry Warning Tale in Property Management
Let’s face it: the real estate market is tough right now, and you might be tempted to explore unconventional options. But before you hand over your property search to Mr. Whiskers, Towne Housing Real Estate feels obligated to explain why your feline friend shouldn’t be your listing agent.
First, let’s address the obvious issues:
- Cats sleep 16 hours a day, making them highly unreliable for open houses
- They knock everything off flat surfaces, including crucial closing documents
- Their idea of “cozy” is a cardboard box in a sunbeam
- They consistently undervalue properties with dogs next door
Consider this: your cat’s property assessment criteria typically includes:
– Optimal windowsill width for bird watching
– Number of hidden spaces behind appliances
– Scratch-ability of doorframes
– Distance to nearest tuna supplier
While these might be important features for some, they rarely align with human housing priorities. Your cat may insist that the perfect home is a studio apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows and zero closet space, simply because it offers premium squirrel-viewing opportunities.
Furthermore, their negotiation tactics are questionable at best. Have you ever tried to reason with a cat? They’re either completely indifferent or suddenly desperate for attention – neither of which makes for successful property dealings. And let’s not forget their tendency to fall asleep mid-conversation or suddenly sprint away during important discussions about mortgage rates.
At Towne Housing Real Estate, we believe in professional service that doesn’t involve hairballs or sudden attacks on dangling keys. Our human agents promise to:
– Stay awake during entire property viewings
– Not scratch the furniture during negotiations
– Maintain eye contact without it being creepy
– Focus on actual property values rather than sunbeam positions
Remember, while your cat might be an expert at claiming territory (your keyboard, your clean laundry, your face at 3 AM), they’re not qualified to handle your largest investment. Leave the real estate to the professionals who understand that a good property isn’t measured in catnip potential.
Trust Towne Housing Real Estate for your next move – we promise a purr-fessional experience without the fur-filled complications of feline real estate advice.
