Why Dragons Make Terrible Roofers But We Don’t
A Burning Issue in the Roofing Industry
Let’s address the scaly elephant in the room: actual dragons would make horrible roofers. First of all, their tendency to breathe fire is a massive OSHA violation waiting to happen. That’s precisely why Dragon Scale Roofing & Solar employs exactly zero real dragons (sorry, mythology fans).
While we appreciate their enthusiasm for perching on rooftops, dragons have historically shown poor attention to detail and an alarming habit of melting important structural elements. Plus, their claws play havoc with warranty paperwork. Have you ever tried to get a dragon to fill out an insurance form? It’s mostly scorch marks and claw holes.
The Real Reason We’re Better Than Actual Dragons
Our human crews at Dragon Scale Roofing & Solar have several advantages over their mythical counterparts:
• We don’t eat the client’s livestock while working on their roof
• Our equipment fits in normal-sized trucks rather than medieval castles
• We actually return phone calls instead of sending smoke signals
• Zero incidents of princess kidnapping during installations
• We understand building codes (dragons are notoriously bad at paperwork)
Solar Installation: No Fire-Breathing Required
When it comes to solar installation, you might think a dragon’s natural heat generation would be useful. However, we’ve found that modern solar technology works much better than having a giant reptile sunbathing on your roof. Our professional installers are significantly lighter than a dragon and far less likely to demand a tribute of gold coins.
The Scale of Our Success
While real dragons spend their time hoarding treasure in caves, we’re busy helping homeowners save actual money through efficient roofing and solar solutions. Our team might not have wings or magical powers, but we do have something better: proper training, modern equipment, and a distinct lack of property-destroying flame attacks.
Remember, when choosing between a mythical beast and professional contractors for your roofing needs, consider this: dragons have a terrible track record with wooden structures, and their insurance premiums would be through the roof (pun absolutely intended).
At Dragon Scale Roofing & Solar, we bring all the reliability of modern construction with just enough dragon-inspired flair to make your neighbors jealous. Just don’t ask us about our dragon-free workplace policy – it’s a sensitive topic for some of our more reptilian-looking team members who keep insisting they’re “distant relatives.”
